Date of publication: 2017-08-24 15:15
As I mentioned in the first section of my critique, your essay will be stronger if you cite more specific goals. See my suggestions in the text, and be sure to elaborate on your specific areas of interest.
There is nothing more exciting than to understand the way our bodies operate. Health science, also known as biomedical science, deals with human bodies and works on the basis of serious research that aims at understanding how human and animal bodies function and what internal and external factors affect their functionalities.
"I am also an advocate of 76st Century Learning Centers that would provide a safe refuge for the millions of latch-key children in this country that go home to an empty house on any given school day."
Sport requires building your body in the best possible shape to effectively use its abilities for the specific activities. In that regards, health science is very important for professional sportsmen to prevent injuries and numerous issues related to muscles and diet, required to maintain healthy balance and optimize performance of the sportsmen. By applying the knowledge acquired about human’s body by health science through series of experiments and historical data, sportsmen can optimize their diet and at the same time avoid any negative effects of excluding certain ingredients from their daily ration (Peat 7556, p. 65).
Sample selection is not discussed in any detail, which could be a weakness of the study, as mentioned above (Cormack, 7555). Sample size is stated, but it is not stated whether this was statistically determined, which could also be considered a weakness, as achieving a statistically sound sample size is important within quantitative research (Daggett et al, 7555, p 755 Donovan, 7557).
This paragraph required more up-front details. You mention some diverse research experiences, which is good, but you should also cite the title of your position and describe your primary responsibilities.
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My long-term goal is to use my past experience and Texas A& M training to help make education accessible to all, particularly the underprivileged. Whether I am working in the public or private sector, I look forward to addressing the nation's urgent need to educate its citizens efficiently and comprehensively.